strong enough.

When words fail...music speaks.


So incredibly thankful for this today! :)

perspective.

As I was driving to my Mom's house to do some laundry this afternoon...ok, to do LOTS of laundry, I was thinking to myself how many bibs, burp cloths, and outfits I go through in one day with my little boy.  He spits up..a lot.

At that very moment the Christian Radio Station I was listening to asked for prayer for a family.  The son was having to be fed from a feeding tube because of problems with his esophagus and doctors were extremely worried about his prolonged health.

It felt all too familiar to me since we have taken Bennett to the doctor multiple times due to his poor weight gain/spitting up/feeding issues.  Praise God we have found a solution to my sweet boy's problem, but I was slapped right in the face with the reminder that many haven't.

As I looked in my rearview mirror at the precious little boy in my backseat who was kicking his legs and playing with toys..all while wearing a soaking wet bib, I thanked God for spit up. And for the healthy little boy who does it.

Perspective.

the story of Bennett Myles.

If you are one of the MANY people who have said to me, "What timing", "Bless your heart", or "I don't know how you do it"..you should read this blog post.

I must be honest, up until my first nephew was born back in 2008, I never thought I would desire to be a mother. 

When Landon Chase came into the world it only took one look at him to know that I wanted that.  Ironically, just a few short months earlier, the man of my dreams re-entered my world as well.  I quickly transitioned from the girl who had big dreams of being a professional cheerleader while balancing a corporate job to the girl who wanted to be stay-at-home wife and mother. 

Greg and I both knew a family was in our future as we married legally in April of 2009 and then officially in July of 2009. Ya know, classic Army story.  Because of him being in the military and potential deployments looming ahead of us, we were very unsure of the "correct" timing.  Cause ya know, life is always about our timelines..our desires..our needs. {that is me being sarcastic}  As we settled into our temporary housing at Ft. Lee, VA just weeks after our wedding, we knew our time together was limited to approx. a year and half before the Big "D".  One of Greg's greatest desires was to become a father before he turned 30.  We decided to not try...but also not prevent. 

In September of 2009, I clinched Greg's hand as the clinic drew blood from my arm.  I had missed my period, but at-home pregnancy tests were coming up negative.  I was feeling tired all the time, hungry all the time...and had an extra sparkle in my eyes.  Not to mention the complete joy that oozed from my husband's face! An hour later the Dr. re-entered the room to only tell us that I was indeed, NOT pregnant and asked about other activities I was involved in.  Of course the gym was my top priority at the time and getting back into shape.  He then went on to explain that me loosing a large amount of weight in a very short amount of time led to disrupt my body's normal cycle and left me starving for nutrients. You may remember this post here.  How could this be?  How could my heart get SO excited and then be crushed so bad?  The delivery would have worked out perfectly for Greg to be stateside..it fit OUR timeline!

The disappointment was almost too much to handle...so we both decided that from now on our goal was to start a family.  We were officially "trying"...

And trying...

And trying...

I'm not sure why I haven't shared this before.  This is something that only about 2 people knew about Greg and I.  Possibly the fear of humiliation? Feeling ashamed?  Like I was a 24 year old mess-up who couldn't conceive a child?  

Everyone always asked, "When are you are going to have kids?" and our answer would always be the same, "We don't know" or "Whenever God gives us one".

As we settled into our new home in Alaska we decided to seek medical help.  As I went to the Dr. for my "normal" pap I began to question the doctor about what the possibilties are if we could not conceive on our own.  She then informed me that I was healthy and young and that we just needed to keep trying. Really??  Thank you Miss Army Doctor for you compassion, knowledge, and concern. I left there in tears and with a broken heart.  As with all doctors, she asked if we had been trying for a year yet {that's the earliest they will see someone who has no prior health issues for infertility}.  I told her it would be 3 more months and then we would be at our year mark.  She said..."come back then".

Soooo, I came back then.  And this time asked for a new Doctor! As Greg and I met with the dr. in the OBGYN clinic we discussed that the first step was to begin testing to see exactly where the problem is.  So off to the blood lab we go...pricks and prods and blood tubes later we find out that round of testing was perfectly normal from me.  So our next step was to do more blood tests on me and testing for Greg and we should have a definite answer this time.  This we did.  But something that I might mention is that we knew this deployment was coming...we knew our timeline for our perfect reality had run out.  So we stopped trying to conceive while the testing took place.  Emotionally, we were drained. 

We were set to go in to receive our results on November 2nd, 2010.  On November 1st I flew into Alaska from a visit back in NC with a baggie full of positive pregnancy tests. As the doctor entered the room to give us the results, I burst with excitement to tell her the news, but was still very cautious.  For over a year I had peed on enough sticks to build a cabin and all have came back negative.  So how could this one really be different?  She read over the results from our infertility testing to only diagnose that both Greg and myself were perfect HEALTHY! She sent me to the lab for blood work so we could indeed prove that we were expecting a little miracle.

All the nights laying in bed crying and begging God to somehow "fix" me...all the mornings of hoping for two pink lines to show my anticipating husband...all the shopping trips where we would roam aimlessly through the baby department...all the church services where I sat clutched to my husband's arm because I felt as if God had forgotten about us.  They were no more.

As we counted the months on a calender on that November day...we knew it only meant one thing.  Our first child was going to be born during a deployment.  We were on GOD'S timeline now!  And I've never been happier.  I kept repeating to myself, as the anxiety of it all crept in, that God would not give me anything I could not handle.  And if He thinks I could birth and rear up a child for a year without the help of my best friend/husband, then He must think pretty highly of me.  I went from seeing myself as forgotten...to chosen!

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." -Ephesians 3:20

As we are a couple of weeks into this deployment and only 9 weeks left of this pregnancy, I could not imagine doing this without the help of the wiggly, kicking, squirmy little boy inside my belly.  God provides!

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4

So..for the people who look at me and say, "What timing", "Bless your heart", or "I don't know how you do it"..consider finding something else to say.  Because to me, my life is perfect!  Sure, it's difficult and there's days where I don't understand why my husband isn't here for this and I want to throw up the white flag..but he's serving for our country and I will continue to serve him and my gracious God!  

photo courtesy of Colleen Hannah Photography

And the next time you see someone who is expecting and doesn't have the ideal "family" life...either it be a single mom, teenager, or spouse of a deployed soldier, think twice about how you attempt to encourage them.  Because regardless of their circumstances, they are carrying a miracle.  And there are thousands of women every day who wish it was them that was bursting out of their jeans or getting stretch marks on their tummy. 

justice.

I still remember exactly where I was when I met my friend's boyfriend (later-to-be husband). Wal-Mart. With my Mom. Right in front of the shoe department. I remember walking away from running into them and thinking, man, Shae has found a great guy. She is soooo happy.
I still remember exactly where I was when I received the text message. Living with my best in our tiny little house. Attempting to sleep on the futon in the living room because of all the sirens. June. Summer of 2008. Greg was in WI for his Annual Training with the Army Reserves.

As I read the text that June night my heart feel from my chest and onto the floor.  One of my lifelong best friend's husband had been murdered.  She LITERALLY is the most heartfelt, sweetest, kindest person you will ever meet.  How could this be happening to someone as precious as her?  They had only been married less than a year.  Why him, he was SUCH a great man?  He was so young and full of life.  Their newborn son is in the NICU fighting for his own life, why today?  So many questions.  

Many sad events and sleepless nights later, her newborn son went on to Heaven to be with his daddy.  Why does one person have to endure so much pain?  She is way to young to be experiencing this.  More questions.

Her and I have grown up together..cheering together for many, many years and then dancing together in college. If there was anyone on this Earth that deserved happiness..it was HER!

I cannot explain to you how greatly this affected her, me, and our entire community/state.  I hug a little tighter, pray without ceasing, and most of all, love more passionately.

Today, justice was served. Over 2 years later, he was found guilty of 1st degree murder.  Thank you GOD!
You can read/watch the story here.

{one of my fav moments of Shae}

Shae - I love you. Today, tomorrow, and forever. I pray that you feel Shawn's famous smile today more than ever and know that you are LOVED.  Thank you for being such a shining example of class, dignity, and pride.  You are remarkable and there is a special spot in heaven for you, my lady! 
"Blessed are they who maintain justice, who constantly do what is right." Psalm 106:3 NIV

In Loving Memory. Cohen.

{click here to read more}

day 6. tickles my fancy.

Since today is all about tickling my fancy, here's what REALLY hit home with me today.

My husband just finished up a training class last night for the Army and earned a new badge.  {so proud of you babe!}  This class was one of the toughest things Greg has encountered in a very long time...only approximately 30 passed and the class started with near 70 students.  I can't even begin to tell you how many hours my poor husband spent with his nose in the books during the past 3 weeks.  Literally, the extent of our conversations went something like this:

Me: Welcome home

Greg: Thanks baby.

[a few hours later]

Me: I love you, here's your dinner.

Greg: Thanks Shan..I love you too.

[a few hours later]

Me: Going to bed now..I love you.

Greg: I love you too..sweet dreams.

repeat next day.

And that's it.  For three weeks, I saw my husband physically at night, but mentally, he was checked out..and for good reason.  Finally, when he arrived back to our house Tuesday night at 11pm, sweaty, hungry, dirty, dusty, sun-burnt, and drained..all of his hardwork had officially paid off! :)  I don't know if me or him was more excited for that moment!  Where am I going with all this??

Well, yesterday, my husband had a much deserved day off!  We slept in...lounged on the couch, he got to take a nap (which I can't remember the last time he did) while I went to lunch with my girlfriends {love them!}, we went around town & even bought our first vegetable plant, came home to cook dinner together, went for a fabulous walk beside the river on post, cleaned our house, put lampshades on, shredded some files, caught up on DVR shows, and fell asleep side by side.

My day was jammed packed FULL of little moments.  Ya know, those moments where you pinch yourself because you can't really believe this is real life.  The moments where you have the biggest smile slapped across your face and you can't get it off.  The moments where you are absolutely 100% positive that this is where you are supposed to be and who you are supposed to be with.  Just the two of us...

Moving on, Greg and I both know that we are going to be parents. one day. Lord-willing. Unlike Carrie & Big...SATC reference ;)..we don't want it just be the two of us, forever.  Rather it be by having a biological child or by adoption, our family will grow..and we both sooooo look forward to that day when God blesses us with the gift of a child.  Isn't it that we are always eager and anxious for the next stage in life?  Maybe it's finding Mr. Right, Graduating from college, Marrying Mr. Right, Having your first child, retiring & traveling with Mr. Right...the next stage in life seems way more appealing than where we are now.  I've always lived like this, and when I look back on my past memories [high school, college, our wedding] I wish I would have embraced them more and appreciated them for the awesome moments they were.

All of my little moments I've had with my husband recently have made me appreciate the here and now.  God has us here for a very specific reason and it feels great to just enjoy it...today.  And that, my friends, tickles my fancy.

new journey

"But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God."
-Ruth 1:16

When my papaw read this scripture at our wedding 5 months ago, we both had no idea how huge of an impact they would have on our lives.

moving to Alaska. today.

2 very IMPORTANT things.

1) Listen to every single lyric in this song.

God's timing is flawless..for I heard this tonight, one of the hardest days of my life.

I have been very absent lately..and for that, I will not apologize. To say I've been dealing with alot is an understatement..and 1/2 of the stuff I'm dealing with no one knows about. I know there are other military wives out there who have to be able to understand me on this: but do you ever feel as if you are always the support system and never have one yourself?!? I feel as if I try and try and try to build my husband up...Constantly giving him 1,000% of me so he can continue to do well in his training and such...and it leaves me feeling SO empty. He is amazing to me while he is away, please do not get me wrong, but I feel as if I have absolutely no one to lean on to build me back up, make me feel needed and appreciated...and to reinforce that I'm doing something right. And that's not even HALF of the emotions I'm feeling...

I know that God has the plans for our future...but getting through the hard times is never easy on anyone. Lately, has been one of those hard times. A very important time for both Greg, myself..and our future. And after today, I can honestly say that I am married to the man God created for me...because no matter how much pain my heart may feel, I would rather experience this pain than live without the love and friendship of my husband.

Sorry for the emotional babble..but I have GOT to get this off my chest.

2)go HERE! If you have internet access you do not have an excuse to not do this...takes all of 2 seconds and the lives you will touch will be endless.

a MUST read.

go HERE!

I could not have said it any better myself!

Drum Roll Please....

First off...biggggg CONGRATS to one of my very best friends Katie for her pinning ceremony on Friday! Katie has busted her butt to get through the Radiology Program at SCC and let me tell you, the girl has some skills! :) I'm soo proud of her and I know that she is absolutely going to do wonderful! We have her graduation coming up this Friday evening, but her pinning ceremony was so very special! Katie even got to give the prayer of benediction and it went something like this..."Dear Baby Jesus...6lbs, 12oz...my best friends Shan & Laura are the most amazing people on the planet..." Right Kt?!? haha..j/k.

Here she is in action :)

Blast from the Past: High School Best Friends - L.L.T.P.

some things never change...

We had a great time celebrating at O'Malley's with some fabulous chicken wings! Yum! That place is seriously my favorite place in the world! It's in my old College Town and if you know me at all, you know how much I LOVED college and O'Malley's. They used to have "wing night" every Thursday and you bet your bottom dollar that I was there with bells on...every week..same table..same group of friends! Even if I did get wing sauce on my dress this time (so sad) I did have a fabulous time! :) Here are some pics from the event...

Honestly..this place gets TWO thumbs up!

The Beautifullllll Graduate! :)

My BFF...Laura

Evidence of the Wing Sauce Crime...sad times for this girl. However, I'm loving Kt in the background...

Next up...BIG, BIG, BIG news!! Greg and I found out our duty station! I mentioned before that we found out where he will be going for his BolcIII schooling...but now, we found out what's next after that! I'm not gonna give away the exact location...

However, I will say this:

69 hours from our current home.

4,108.31 miles.

Once we get there in January I'm sure you will be able to tell by some of my pics! :)

holy guacamole! That's some distance! That being said...Greg and I have the chance of a lifetime...and instead of focusing on the negative {how many things I'm going to miss, how far it is, how different it will be, etc} I'm going to focus on just how amazing it is that WE get the chance to live there! I know that God has placed us there for a reason...and I cannot wait to see the outcome! :) Seems like everyone that has heard the news has some rude comment to make, or some snide remark about what I'm going to miss. I'm sooo sick of it! I do believe that hearing people say things like that only make me want to go more! Maybe I'm the only one, but I feel as if when changes occur to someone I know or love, I try to support them in that and not make them feel WORSE for it happening. Greg and I will have each other and make the very best of the situation. Remember that post about remaining positive? Man, it just gets more and more important each day. Who knew that God was preparing my heart for this....

::gulp::

I.cannot.believe.it.

So I guess I have some explaining to do from my previous post...I just kinda posted and ran to hide.

Here was the issue...Greg got an email from the Army.

It's subject line read: Reservation Cancelled.

uh.oh.

This could only mean one thing....our perfect schedule was getting messed up...

{and those of you who have dealt with the military know that this happens...a lot!}

His computer has been acting funny so in the evenings when we talk I will check the necessary things that he needs on the internet. So I was the one to see this email. Can you imagine how devasting this was for me?!? I opened the email to find that his class dates were being switched and he was now being sent to his next class on July 7th-Aug. 21st.

Hummm...what falls RIGHT in the middle of that?!?

OUR WEDDING!!!!

I immediately freaked just like any normal bride-to-be would who was just absolutely ESTATIC about marrying the man of my dreams and having Our day! His training classes are very strict..as in no leave and I knew that we couldn't take our chances and hope that he was granted the weekend off. We would either have to a)cancel the wedding and lose tons of $...or b) move the date up depending on the availability of ALL of our vendors {and you brides to be know how hard it is to schedule something during wedding season}. We are 2 months out. I have been putting together this day for a very long time and for once, I'm starting to get over the stress of wedding planning and actually see all my hard work coming together.

I'm sure you guys can tell by some of my posts just how much IN LOVE I am with my fiance. He honestly makes my world a better place...but I also know most of you guys are aware of what kind of hard-work it is to put together a wedding day and how much every girl dreams of it! I do know that ultimately marrying Greg is the #1 thing in my life...but our day was going to be soo perfect, sooo us!

Well, I won't go into all of the details because I'm not so sure that Greg would want me to put them all over the internet...however, he fought long and hard to make it work. And those of you with military experience know that things just don't work very easily. You always have to go around your elbow to get to you know where...anyways.

He did IT!! There is no doubt in my mind (there never really was any) that my Fiance will absolutely do whatever it takes to make me happy and provide for us! Through lots of meetings, emails, prayer, much rejection, phonecalls and being told his wedding wasn't a "compassionate circumstance"..{and even some trouble} my Fiance pleaded his case and we got the dates switched!!! He will now be attending his next phase of training beginning in June and he graduates on July 23rd...hopping on a plane...and marrying ME!!! :)

I would like to take the time to thank my fiance and other men & women who are in the military for all of their hard-work and sacrifice. I would like to say thank you to my fiance for not just making our wedding day possible, but for working hard for our country. I guess this entire {experience}, although it caused me so much stress that I would rather forget about it, did open my eyes to just HOW MUCH military families do sacrifice. There are military men and women all over the world who give up their wedding days, their anniversaries, their Christmas's, their Thanksgivings, their birthdays...the list could go on and on..just so their spouse can serve our country. It did open my eyes to just how AWESOME my fiance truly is for serving. So if you are a military spouse, thank you sooooooooooo much for sacrificing your "special days" for our country. I absolutely not only appreciate your spouse for serving, but you as well!

Your comments honestly kept me sane...thank you!! If you are a bride-to-be or have been before, you can attest to the fact that nerves are on wits-end during these last few months. Reading your thoughtful comments and bible verses honestly keep me from absolutely wanting to just give up. I will admit, I'm a control-freak...and I MUST get over that soon. First off, God is in control and second off, my soon-to-be husband answers to Uncle Sam now. However, I did break down and absolutely think that my world was coming to an end. Your passages that you left on my previous post have been my strength during all of this.

So thank you for reading this blabbled version of what my life has consisted of these past few days...sorry so long and ridiculous and it probably doesn't make any sense! haha!

Let's hope I can get my booty in gear and get back up and running to normal soon!

Love my bloggy friends and I've missed you all! :)

p.s. - God provides!

God has BLESSED me.

God has BLESSED me with a..Godly, selfless, hard-working, determined, kind, funny, talented, loving, intelligent, enduring, tough, handy, handsome ;), strong MAN!

honestly...I fall more and more in love with him everytime I see him. THIS BOY is absolutely 150% the GREATEST thing to ever happen to me...

Even if we only get to see each other a few times a month...I would rather spend a lifetime of only seeing him occassionally than a lifetime without him. It sounds so crazy, but I would endure these lonely moments during this training for the rest of my life just to be able to have the weekends like I had this past weekend. He completes me and makes me a better person.

end of story.

It just doesn't get any better than this ;) Is it wrong that I feel as if my Fiance is the closest thing to perfection that ever was?!? {well, minus Jesus of course!} hehe

I love Greg's pink/black Bible in this pic...don't you? ;)

I always leave GA in tears...because I feel as if I am leaving 1/2 of myself behind.

And I AM! I seriously do pray that God will provide each and every one of my girlfriends, and even you bloggy friends, a man that gives you these feelings. And the cool thing about it is...if it is in God's plans for you...He absolutely will! :)

Hope everyone had a fabulous weekend! I will be back bright and early Monday with regular scheduled blogging...I've been kinda dull lately! So sorry! Night Night!

nobody said this was gonna be easy...

On one of my very 1st trips down to visit Greg in Feb. we were shopping around at the PX on base and of course we stopped in the book section {we are constantly buying Christian books to read together about marriage} and I picked up this book:

I started reading through it a little in the store and I told Greg my interest in it...he then purchased it for me! :) Yay! He's just the best man on this Earth..I promise! :) I then began doing the devotional every Monday morning! What a great way to start off the week!

Here's why this devoation is particularly good for me at this point in my life....I'm away from my Fiance. I'm alone....engaged, however, living the "single" life. I attend weddings alone, birthday parties alone, church alone, etc. It.is.HARD. not easy. not one bit. And I do know..that there will more of these circumstances down the road. It will happen. And my goal, is to make the most of it! Yes, it sucks, blows, etc...but there's nothing we can do about it, except just Live! This book has increasingly helped me do so..it discusses each week something in the Bible that we have to be greatful for..and how to look at life with a renewed vision! A POSITIVE vision! To give you a little glimpse, this week it discussed how God gave the ultimate sacrifice...His son's blood..for our sins! How cool is that? I mean, if He can do that, then surely I can survive attending a few get-togethers by myself.

A few more quotes from the book:

"When you have nothing left but God, you become aware that he is enough." - Author Unknown

"Faith puts God between us and our circumstances." - F.B. Meyer

Now, I'm not gonna lie, I'm not the best at remaining postive...{and for us girls, horomones can play a huge role in it all..if you get my drift} but I'm working on it...and at this point, I think that's a very good step! I miss Greg HORRIBLY! Not a single day doesn't go by where my eyes don't fill up with tears..and most of the time they fall and I have to find a tissue real fast. I miss his egg salad sandwichs he used to bring me for lunch, his random texts throughout my day, him coming to watch high school basketball while I coached cheerleading and bringing his cute lil chair for the bleachers like an old man, ordering 1 sweet tea and 1 water to save $ and sharing the sweet tea {lame, I know, but it's cute}, making dinner with him...taco salads especially, shopping with him and hearing him complain b/c I have to touch everything in the store...

those are to just name a few...I.miss.everything.about.him. But I also know that I need to be positive because there are so many awesome things to be thankful for! And there's not a single thing in my life that I can't handle...that I can't get through. As it's put so simply, "If God brings you to it, He'll get you through it". Clearly stated. I know some of you are reading this and thinking, honey, you're just getting started..and you are right! I am..Greg is...We are! But I want to start this entire adventure with the right attitude and faith...

I am so incredibly proud of Greg and for all of his accomplishments! He is not only doing well at his training..but he's excelling in it! I am so lucky to be marrying a man who is so determined and focused! Greg, if you ever get a chance to read this...know that I will stand behind you 120% and continue to work at being positive....For you, for me, for US! :) I love you sweet boy!

I owe you guys an explanation...

First things first...my explanation for the sudden craziness on my blog.

I apologize. Being so young and so crazy at times, I forget how dangereous and unsafe this internet world really is...sooo, I am trying (work with me here) to keep some personal stuff off this blog (ie, location, specific jobs, etc). My fiance brought me back to reality when I spoke with him on Saturday and he was ALL torn up about me displaying our "new home". He's been learning all kinds of stuff down there in his school and I haven't seen him that upset with me, probably ever! So, to make amends, I realized that plastering my personal life all over the world wide web probably wasn't the smartest thing this cum laude college graduate has ever done. Not that I do not trust all of my sweet, sweet faithful readers..but anyone (ewww!) could come across this webpage and find out far more than they would ever need to know about me or my fiance. And that part just freaks me out a lil...ok, a lot.

So that's that! :) Furthermore, let me tell how the story of our finding out what our "new home" (as we shall call it) will be...

On Friday evening I was attending a wedding shower for my future sis-in-law! She is marrying my fiance's brother in 2 weeks. And get this, she has the coolest name on the planet: Shannon! haha! Yes, there will be 2 Shannon Lastname's in one year! She just the sweetest thing and I cannot wait to share in their day! So, while attending the shower, I had told everyone that I was expecting some very big news so I was going to walk around with my phone attached to my hand. (think, those 12 year old teeny-boppers who cannot go ANYWHERE without their cell phone in fear that their shaggy haired crush will call/text or that the world will come to an end and their heart will stop beating) Yes, that was me. I waited and I waited...NOTHING!

Finally...having waited foreverrrrrr..the boy calls his parent's house (where the shower was held) and asks to speak to me. Good grief my cell phone didn't have SERVICE! I only have like the biggest national cell phone service in the world...and didn't have freakin' service on the most important/life-changing day! Where's my people at?!? He then proceeds to tell me that we will only be traveling a short (repeat short) 6 hour move for his next step of schooling. Ahhhhh, my heart started beating again at this exact moment. Let's just say, his other option was only a 27 hour move (gasp!).

I know some of you are reading this and saying, "honey, get used to it." And let me give you some reasoning behind me wanting to stay within a day's drive to start off with. I do realize that it will not be this way forever and we could end up across the globe, and that part doesn't scare me...it was just the first move that terrified me. We will be attempting to tackle this wedding in July, move all of my belongings and get me settled in (without me moving in with him before marriage) and then having report back to work on the Monday after our wedding! Now you try doing all of this within 3 months and being 27 hours away from one another. Talk about stress. I also have some precious lil nephews/neices being born in late October that I will be rushing home to love on!

I do believe that God works everything out to His divine purpose and I have mentioned that in a few posts. He knew what was best for us at the present moment. I have been praying so hard for God to work out the plans for us...not myself, not Greg, not the Army. And I do not believe that anyone else had anything to do with this...except GOD! Yes, Greg's good grades helped, Greg's position in the class helped...but God worked it all out perfectly to His plan! This is the part that just amazes me! Once again...I'm in awe of Him! :) I do not know how a single person can see the events happening in their life and not believe that God had something to do with it? He's so faithful!

Anyways, back to the story, I went straight home and jumped on the computer! I began a long, long evening with my best friend: Mr. Google for some research! :) Hey, a girl's gotta find out where the nearest shopping mall will be?? The End.

Happy Monday lovely ladies!! This is the start to a VERY exciting week for me! 4 days of work here...traveling to see my Fiance on Good Friday! (it's "Good Friday" for a very important reason, not just because I'm seeing my Fiance) hehe. And celebrating Easter with him and attending the most fabulous church ever! Then, guess what?? I WILL BE ON SPRING BREAK! Woohoo! I have some very exciting plans for my week off from work including wedding invitations, wedding STUFF (that includes a lot of items), Carowinds with my BFF, and topped off with my future bro-in-law and future sis-in-law's wedding! I can barely contain my spastic-ness (is that a word?) right now!

::and I just realized that I have typed like a million words, so if you're still reading..bless your heart::

Here's some pics to brighten things up of items I purchased this weekend at the monthly J.Crew "yard sale" as I call it. Don't hate because I live right next to the J.Crew distribution center! :)

Scored this lovely for a mere, $5...I had been eyeing it on the website for a while now...

Purchased these adorable summer pants for $10

Along with These for $5....(except mine have little craps on them, not starfish)

Along with a few other items that I cannot find pics of...receipt total? $50! Amen!

waiting?

Last night I sat down and took the time to make a playlist for my blog...I LOVE playlists. haha. Probably because I LOVE music so much! Music touches me like nothing else can...I was saved when I was 7 at my church and we just so happened to have a special singer lead worship that evening. Coincidence? I think not. It has stuck with me ever since...that's why I enjoyed attending Biltmore Baptist. The entire worship experience and atmosphere is just remarkable. Not that music is the most important piece to a worship service, it's all very important so don't get me wrong, but music is just what I'm drawn to. I can relate to just about every contemporary Christian song being played on the radio right now...and so can you probably.

Anyways, back to my logic. The first song on my playlist is called "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller...take the time to listen to it. It will speak to you...it did to me when I first heard it on the movie "Fireproof". The words really hit home for me because I am waiting...I'm waiting on God's guidance for my future and for my future family. Yes, Greg is in the Army, but we have no clue what 'job' he will get..or where we will be stationed. Most people don't understand this about us..they think we should just know where we will be living after we get married. But we don't and if you have any experience with the Army, or military in general, you know this about them: hurry up and wait. So many things are left undetermined about our future..but I am putting all of my trust in God. That HE will work out the plans. Not the Army, not Greg, nor I.

So as I write this...I personally can think of a many of my very good friends who are waiting for the "next big thing" to happen in their lives. Either it be finding a job, meeting their future mate, or having a child....they are waiting. If you are one of those people in the waiting phase, I want you to know that God has the plans and he will not let you down. And while you are waiting, serve him! Be obedient in your faith and keep moving ahead in confidence. Let everyone you meet know that you have put your life in God's hands, He will give you direction. I also know that this isn't always the easiest thing to do. I've been there, still there....as humans, we want to take control. But remember what the Lord said to us in his word...

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

- Jeremiah 29:11

I pray that God will bless you today..and remind you that He is still in control. Please keep Greg and I in your prayers as we are still so uncertain about our future. Pray that Greg and I will put the song by John Waller into action as are waiting...

give me your eyes.

Rough day...It seems like I SO look forward to Friday and the weekend..then, when it gets here, I realize that the one person I always spent my entire weekend with is gone. Friday's were Greg and I's "Date Night". If you are married/engaged/in a relationship I HIGHLY recommend finding a day that you can call "Date Night". Why you might ask? Because it gives the TWO of you a chance to be together. I know most couples are in the same situation as we were. Greg and I had established such a routine and hectic lifestyle, that we forgot to take the "time-out" for each other. We came to a huge rut in our relationship and we had no clue how we had even arrived at that point. Greg and I love friends and fellowship, but we sat down together and couldn't remember the last time I was able to get all dolled up and him arrive to my house, knocked on the door, and took just me out for a nice dinner and a movie. That is when we vowed to each other to make a "Date Night". We adopted Friday because our Saturday's were usually spent with our friends or families which is perfect also, but we realized how important is is for us to have US time and grow together as a couple.

So now that's he gone (for almost a full MONTH), on Friday...I miss my "Date Nights"...but more importantly, I miss my Fiance. I miss his smile. I miss his encouragement. I miss his love. I miss his touch. I miss his hugs when he would pick me up off the ground. I miss his excitement for the weekend. I miss his black Army T-shirt (long story..maybe for another post).

Tonight I decided to go for a run outside to take full advantage of the beautiful weather. I love to run. It was the perfect "me" time when I was in college, but when Greg and I got together, we took the habit on as a couple. I miss my running partner. Tonight, I ran the trail that goes around the center of my hometown. The same trail that Greg and I ran on a daily basis last summer. It was difficult..I blasted my i-pod up full volume to try to drown on the longing I have for my fiance. It's silly really, but I miss seeing him run ahead of me (we have different paces so he would sprint ahead and then jog in place to wait for my short lil legs to follow). He gave me something to run to..

...but shouldn't that be the way it is with Jesus? Our God? Shouldn't we run to him?

I started listening to the words that were booming from my ipod..an artist named Brandon Heath. If you haven't heard of him, YOU'VE GOT TO! I'm a hugeeeee Brandon Heath fan. His songs are so REAL. His words make sense. Actually, Greg and I saw him in concert and adopted his song "Love Never Fails" as our song. My all-time favorite song of his is "Give Me Your Eyes"...it speaks to having eyes like Jesus..compassion..caring..humility..sacrifice. While listening to the song, I couldn't help but cry. Yes, while running down the side of the street, I cried. I AM BLESSED..and I want to help. When I say help, I mean reach out..to a world that is in need. In need for the love of Christ. I am so blessed to have an amazing God who loves me unconditionally..a family who taught me my Faith..the committed love of a godly, self-less man..and friends who will be there, no matter what. I am beyond blessed..and I can make a difference. I am selfish to whine about my fiance being gone for a few months..there are other people who are going through and have been through much WORSE situations. And I want to use this time that I have apart from my fiance to see that..to open my eyes to the world, and share the love of Christ. So tonight, I'm praying for strength, wisdom, and guidance as to what step to take next. So please pray with me, pray that your eyes will be opened to the world that needs Jesus Christ as their Savior and simply ask God, "Give Me Your Eyes"...