time will tell :)

time is going by and we are in the last few days of February!  Yippeee! :)  March has some very fun things in store including:
-My husband returning HOME!
-Getting my Roots done!  I know, I know...little things but soo exciting for me!
-My last few days at work for a few years!
-A trip to NC with Greg in tow :) I've been home twice while living in AK, but both have been sans Greg.
-Seeing our FAMILIES!
-3D ultrasound
-Maternity/Family Pictures
-Baby Showers!
-Seeing my BEST girlfriends...ohmmmmgeeeee I'm so excited!!
-Shopping at "normal" places
-Eating at "normal" places...and this pregnant girl is going to take full advantage!
-A visit to WCU.  Greg and I haven't been back in a couple of years and my how I miss it!

Ekkk..so excited! 

In other news, I'm thinking about taking my blog private.  For some reason I just don't feel like I can use this blog for what it has always been for anymore.  I started this back when we first got engaged as a wedding planning tool...then it turned into my outlet when Greg and I were apart for 6 months before the wedding.  It was an awesome way for us to communicate and him stay "in touch" with what was happening in my life.  I thought I could do the same this time around, but every time I sit down to write I always end up stopping.  To me, that's not fair.  I guess my real attitude should be that this is my little corner of the world and if you don't like it you are are welcome to leave. :) Any thoughts?  Time will tell, I guess!

This past weekend was extremely rough for me...I came down with the flu and literally did not know how I was gonna make it!  Finding the energy to get out of bed and go to the bathroom was the hardest task..much less dragging myself out in a blizzard and -30 degree tempartures for Vicks Vapor Rub.  Which, by the way, I paid $11 for!!  My family back home could not believe I paid that much for something that normally costs $1.  ha!  Anyways, I stayed in constant contact with my mom and bestie back home who kept urging me to take myself to the ER. But I'm so dang stubborn.  I didn't eat or drink anything for about 3 days, which is not the best condition for a sick pregnant lady. 

Happily, I am on the mend, but I certainly learned a whole lot during this experience.  For starters, I'm really questioning if Alaska is where Baby Bennett and I need to be once he arrives.  How in the world would I do it if I were that sick with a newborn?  With no one to help watch Bennett or heck, even bring me a glass of juice!  It did scare the beejeeebees out of me to consider all of this.  I didn't invest my time very well when we first got here and now it has me in situations I never thought I would be in!  This is definately something Greg and I will have to discuss when he gets back.  I know he would be much happier if I went home during the big "D", but he's always let me make the choice.  I was the stubborn one thinking that I could "tough it out", but is it really worth it?

downhill from here!

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: 20wks 4 days

Size of baby: Cantaloupe

Total Weight Gain: Gained 9lbs!

Maternity Clothes: yes, and I am having the HARDEST time picking out outfits!

Gender: boy! B.M.W

Movement: yep!  Active little man!

Sleep: Getting soooo much better!

What I miss: Having a wardrobe! I wear the same things over & over.

Cravings: Still Cereal..and not the healthy kind! Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Symptoms: Holy backaches!  My life has been ridiculously busy and my total time sitting down in the past week probably equals about 30 minutes!  My back is paying for it!

Best Moment this week: Online Shopping :)  Sooo excited for the packages to begin arriving!  Cheesy, I know..but it's the little things in life.

 

Also..I have big plans for this in Bennett's room...

Minus the little birdie and with his name of course.  Can't wait to show you the finished product!  And since we are military and won't be in this house forever...it will be a portable wall decal! :)

 

Also decided on this handbag diaper bag...

It's the Timi and Leslie Charlie Bag in Pewter!  While many of you and my facebook buddies told me how fabulous the Vera Bradley bags are, I've decided to go with the above and then get a Vera Backpack for the days that I need ALL of my hands.....ya know, the 8 hands that Moms grow! :)  My style is way too "non diaper bag" and if that's not enough for my decision...please check out the fabulousness that's below:

Hellooooooo..I'm all about some celebrity trends.  Think what you must, but I'm all over it!

Things I've learned...

...while being "single" pregnant. Ya know, sans husband.

• Taking the trash to the dump once every 3 weeks doesn't cut it. By then, the load is entirely too heavy to lift so you end up having dig in the container and throw trash away bag-by-bag or grossly, piece-by-piece.
• Must invest in nose/mouth masks. Gagging in sink while trying to clean out the sink drainer will happen on a daily occassion.  Also applies for taking garbage out.
• Sleeping with the TV on TLC or Discovery Health isn't a great idea. It makes for some crazy dreams about baby having 4 ears...however, sleeping with the TV on is a must.  Just need to chose a better channel.
• Panic attacks WILL happen, most of the time daily if not hourly. No need to beat around the bush about it.
• Just because I'm minus a husband does not mean I don't need to cook good meals.  Baby needs nutrients.  Living off bagels and easy mac is not acceptable.
• Throwing away the first meal I made because it is NOT what I or baby wanted is acceptable...just remember to take out the trash immediately and not let it begin to grow mold for a few days.
• Looking at my husband's picture for hours on end will not make him magically appear.
• Wearing no makeup is ok. You're probably gonna cry a million times through the day so it's better to just not waste your time.
• Wasting time on the internet is ok...shopping for baby, planning for nursery, etc. I don't even feel bad about spending 3 hours looking at baby stuff! Why should I?

This list will grow, I'm sure.  But it's kinda nice to have it written out so I can read back over once in a while!
Sadly, I'm trying to get the hang of things and work out an established system for me! :)

for the little boys...

I found this sweet post today and thought it was sooo appropriate!  I am so excited about having a son and hope that he grows to be half the man his father is!

10 Things Every Mother Should Teach Her Son

There's a special bond between mothers and sons. Women raising boys have the power to shape the next generation of men and those to come by teaching their kids important lessons.

 

1. To express his emotions because bottling them up eventually makes a person explode.

2. To say "ladies first," hold doors open for women, and give his date the jacket off his back when he or she is cold because the world is moving forward in wonderful ways but that doesn't mean chivalry has to die.

3. To put the toilet seat down after he pees, change his sheets frequently, learn to cook, and do laundry.

4. To channel his energy through sports, art, dance, the written word — whatever his passion may be.

5. That even the biggest fight should be settled with the mind rather than fists.

6. That not following the group doesn't make him a loser, but his own leader.

7. To stick up for the underdog even if it makes him an outcast.

8. That he has the power to make an amazing difference in life.

9. To worry less about whether she's proud of him and more about having pride in himself.

10. Smiles are free so be generous with them.

let's get real.

Since my phone conversation with my husband got cut short because he had to fall asleep on a cot in the middle of the desert...I am now turning to blabbing about this on my blog.

Lately, and it's been on my heart for a very long time, I have noticed that there are very few people that I have met in this crazy army life that are REAL.  As in, the same person no matter who is around, doesn't think that they are better than others, and just an overall kind person.  And it must really be bad because my husband notices it too...between the wives. 

Sure I have a big personality, but I also have a big heart.  I could not imagine hurting people or acting towards another the way some people have done me in the past few months.  I was telling a friend tonight that it is all so catty...I feel like I'm on an episode of Real Housewives.  Maybe it's from the constant bouncing around to different cities and meeting new people...maybe some people aren't used to "stable" friendships?  Or maybe some people think they need to make big impressions by judging others?

And the biggest thing that pulls on my heartstrings is that I've spent so much of my time investing in these relationships to only find out they are phony.  And now when I need them most {big "D" as I call it} they are no where to be found.  So, my heart is very guarded, but I am starting over.  I no longer trust all and I am looking for very different qualities in friends and hope that this experience has taught me a little about life outside of my "southern bubble" as I call it. 

I know nothing I say will ever make these individuals stop and think about their actions, but I do hope that I can hold myself accountable to never act this way and to treat others with respect, sincere love, and reliable friendship.

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves."
     - Romans 12:9-10

But to end on a positive note, I have found a couple of really great, true friends on this Alaskan journey and they mean the world to me!

And because all blog posts aren't complete without a picture...this is real...

found in my medicine cabinet the morning after my husband left!  Sometimes I pinch myself just to be sure it's real because I have such an awesome marriage...

smorgasbord of stuff.

• I've been debating if I should mention it on this blog or not, but I figured if I didn't..I was gonna bust!  This blog has been an awesome outlet for me through the years.  My girlfriends from back home just don't understand my feelings and I haven't found many girlfriends here that really get me on that level.  I'm going through the Big "D" and I don't mean Dallas or Divorce {or should I say fast approaching the Big "D"}.  Although if I were going through Dallas that would mean that I am out of this dreadful, dark, cold place called Alaska and my life would be happy!  My heart aches...
• We've picked out this bedding for Baby B and it's been ordered!  I ADORE animal print and have recently fallen in love with orange.  This bedding just screams stylish, handsome baby boy to me!  Now to just find a crib/dresser and glider I like.  I am picky, picky and not to mention it is terribly hard to get stuff to AK!  Any recommendations?

• I adore shopping for my little boy.  I once wrote on facebook how excited I was about dressing up my child and some rude, opinionated people decided to let me know that there are better ways to spend my money.  Never, ever did I say that I was going to spend a lot of money doing it..I believe anything is possible on any budget!  And if those ever-so-kind people actually knew me, they would know that I don't leave my house without a coupon, won't pay full-price for anything besides underwear, and if Doritos aren't on sale..we don't come home from the grocery store with them no matter how much my husband loves them!  Case in point #1...

$.87 Old Navy sandals for Baby B...$.87 people!!

• I am trying to find an awesome craft project for Bennett's nursery to help pass the time while Greg is gone for the next 6 weeks. 
• I love feeling my sweet boy move all around in my tummy.  Greg was able to call tonight and as soon as we hung up Bennett started going nuts!  It was adorable...I think he misses Daddy as much as I do! :)
• I frequent our local thrift store and found these amazing Frye Cowboy Boots for $12 a while back..don't mind if I do! {please excuse the jumbo belly}

• I CANNOT decide on a diaper bag!  Anyone have any advice on a Timi & Leslie vs. Vera Bradley?

• We are taking a trip home in March and I am sooooo estatic to go back to the South!  There are no words to describe how much I miss it!  The winters here are long, COLD, dark, and depressing.  Looking forward to a breath of fresh air!
• Greg and I were talking the other day about this Big "D" and he mentioned how great this move to Alaska has been for us.  And ya know what?  I totally agree.  While I may not looooveeeee it here, I do love the fact that we moved here.  Main part being "we"!  Greg and I have become so incredibly close during this past year and I know it's because we have had to rely on just each other.  When we were living around family and close friends there were so many stressors on our relationship...where are we gonna eat Sunday lunch?  Who's friends do we hang out with tonight?  Spending time with my family vs. his family?  I think if I could, I would make it a rule that every newlywed couple has to move away for their first year of marriage...it either makes or breaks you!  I say it all the time, but my husband is my ROCK!  I can honestly say that every aspect of my life is better because of him!  We've talked about things I've never thought we would discuss...we've done things I've never thought we would have done and most importantly, we've conquered it all with a smile on our faces.  I've truly never been happier in my life and it's so great to be able to say the same about him!  Life.is.remarkable.
• It's FEBRUARY?? {doesn't that look odd spelled out?}
• And lastly, I leave you with a pic of me and Bennett.  I have been sending Greg daily pics of me so he doesn't come home and think I look like a huge cow pregnant woman.  I thought my outfit today was extra cute and I found the blue long sleeve maternity t-shirt for $3 yesterday!  See...any budget!!