Lately, and it's been on my heart for a very long time, I have noticed that there are very few people that I have met in this crazy army life that are REAL. As in, the same person no matter who is around, doesn't think that they are better than others, and just an overall kind person. And it must really be bad because my husband notices it too...between the wives.
Sure I have a big personality, but I also have a big heart. I could not imagine hurting people or acting towards another the way some people have done me in the past few months. I was telling a friend tonight that it is all so catty...I feel like I'm on an episode of Real Housewives. Maybe it's from the constant bouncing around to different cities and meeting new people...maybe some people aren't used to "stable" friendships? Or maybe some people think they need to make big impressions by judging others?
And the biggest thing that pulls on my heartstrings is that I've spent so much of my time investing in these relationships to only find out they are phony. And now when I need them most {big "D" as I call it} they are no where to be found. So, my heart is very guarded, but I am starting over. I no longer trust all and I am looking for very different qualities in friends and hope that this experience has taught me a little about life outside of my "southern bubble" as I call it.
I know nothing I say will ever make these individuals stop and think about their actions, but I do hope that I can hold myself accountable to never act this way and to treat others with respect, sincere love, and reliable friendship.
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves."
- Romans 12:9-10
But to end on a positive note, I have found a couple of really great, true friends on this Alaskan journey and they mean the world to me!
And because all blog posts aren't complete without a picture...this is real...
found in my medicine cabinet the morning after my husband left! Sometimes I pinch myself just to be sure it's real because I have such an awesome marriage...
13 comments:
Awww, I totally get it.
But at least you have an awesome hubby and soon enough you'll get to hold your baby boy!
AWW! So sorry you are having a hard time making true friends in the military life! I can definitly relate! It is a struggle to find real true friends that will be there for you whenever not when its good for them! But you are right..your little one and hubby are real will always be there for you no matter where he is! Keep your head up, you are a sweet girl I am sure you will make some real friendships!
This made me cry!!! You have one amazing husband!!!!!! :)
I hope it gets better and you find a few more true people. It is those women who are constantly being sneaky and saying not okay things that give others who are genuine really bad names.
I have learned that all in all you have to ignore it, and I have been pushed with name calling and personal attacks online/in person from other wives over something extremely petty.
Keep your head up, and I am so happy for you and your husband :) you guys have an amazing love and I can only aspire to be like you guys!
hugs from nc.. i can't imagine what your going through, but know people here care for you. xo. can't wait to see you guys in march and do your photos.
xoxo
xoxo from NC. totally understand what your going through, sometimes the truth is you can count your best friends on one hand.. i know that is true for me. i hate you are soo far away without your bf's as a support system in physical form, but i know your friends are just a phone call away. can't wait to see you guys in march & can't wait to take your family photos. all of them. ;0)
Sadly, I know exactly how you feel about meeting so many people that you think that you can be good friends with and then they turn "phony." It seems to be a going thing for me anymore. I just wish people would be themselves, rather than trying to portray as someone else. It's so much less work! haha.
That note is the sweetest. Your marriage is adorable. I had no idea that you are having a boy! How exciting girl! I will be praying for you during this journey of finding the "cool" and real friendships! =)
It's horrible, isn't it? I found a group of REAL, TRUE girlfriends as soon as I got to Oklahoma. Unfortunately, we were all only there for about 8 months. I am having a hard time with this here. It's the first time in my life that I am having a hard time making friends. Sure, I have acquaintences, but as you know, it's not the same.
I truly hope that you find that bond that you are looking for. Especially with "D word" coming up. You'll need that. I'll say again what I've said so. many. times.... if only we were stationed together!!
*hugs* Don't give up!
OMG!!!!!!! Your name and mine are exactly the same!! well obviously different last names but my name is Shannon Nicole as well!!! GAHHHH !!
And i agree totally about the fakeness of people
Aw, that is so sweet that he left you that card for you to find!
This makes my heart break. I have had my fair share of pain from so called MilSpouse friends and other friends. I hate to see another girl get (for lack of a better word) spirit broken because of unthoughtful "friends." I don't like seeing people who have to be guarded with their friendships. I'm sorry you have to go through this.
I know how you feel. I've heard horror storries from some of the wives I know, so I've been pretty cautious. Nothing drives me more insane than the wives who pull the rank card and the wives who talk trash about others behind their backs. I honestly don't get it. We are all going through relatively the same thing. What's the point of being caddy to someone who undestands and wants to be there for you? Sorry for the rant, but I've totally been feeling this way, too!
So happy to have found your blog! : )
Such a sweet note from your hubby!
I have only meet one true military wife that I call a friend but she is along ways away from me right now. I haven't bonded with anyone here in alaska
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