An Army Wife's Perspective: Memorial Day 2011

{any last names or exact locations of me or my husband have been removed for safety reasons}

John 15:13 states: “Greater love has no one than this that he lay down his life for his friends.”
1LT Todd Weaver…{click HERE for his official website}
Born 22 October 1983
Killed-In-Action 9 Sept 2010, Kandahar Afghanistan
I’m not sure what it was that created the instant connection between LT Weaver and myself…
Maybe it was the fact that he held the rank of 1LT…the same rank my husband wears today.
Or maybe it was the fact that he was 26 years old when he died so honorably…my 26th birthday was this past Tuesday.
Or maybe it was the fact that his famous picture is the one of him holding his wife while kissing his infant daughter before he left out on a year-long deployment…my favorite picture of my husband is the one of him kissing his unborn son.
Or maybe it was the fact that he held the job of Executive Officer of a Company {XO in military lingo}…the same job my husband holds today.
Or maybe it was the fact that he graduated from the College of William & Mary…a place my husband and I visited several times during our short assignment at Ft. Lee, Virginia.
Maybe it was the fact that his young wife Emma frequently blogged about her pregnancy and military experiences..I too have a personal blog to help “get it out”.
Or maybe it was the fact that his last steps were on the dirt in Kandahar, Afghanistan…the same dirt my husband walks on today.
Or maybe it was the fact that he had to watch his daughter’s many first via video or webcam…my husband, too, will miss many “firsts”.
Maybe it was the fact that he requested to be laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery…my husband too, has the same request.
Or maybe, just maybe, it was the fact that he wore proudly the American Flag on his right arm…the same flag my husband wears on his right arm.
My connection with LT Weaver is the same that I have with hundreds of thousands of troops…which is why I choose to honor him and his sacrifice this memorial day.

5 years ago if you would have told me I would become an Army Wife, living in Alaska, and having my first child while my husband was at war, I would have laughed. As sad as it is for me to admit…I was never very patriotic growing up. Unless you count singing “God Bless the USA” in a beauty pageant when I was younger, I was one of the many Americans who lived my day-to-day life with no acknowledgement of the sacrifices being made by so many…so many of you.
When I was reunited with Greg in 2007, that all changed instantly. He was called to serve. Like most of us do when following God’s will for our lives…we like to get our feet wet before diving in head first. Greg joined the Army Reserves and we enjoyed normal life with an occasional “drill weekend” on the side.
As things grew more and more serious in our relationship, we had to make a choice…or should I say, I had to make a choice. His choice was clear…he was a soldier and needed to fulfill the calling…Active duty. My choice wasn’t so clear. Am I willing to serve Him as his wife? Could I really move every 2-3 years? Could I really learn all the acronyms? Could I be the head-of-household during his time away? Could I fix broken cars, handle crisis with my Power of Attorney, shovel the driveway, and balance the checkbook? And most importantly, could I really raise my children without a father for several years of their lives pending deployments?

Clearly the answer was yes. When you’re in God’s will…you can surprisingly do more than you imagine. Since saying “yes” to his marriage proposal on August 2nd 2008, I can’t hear the national anthem without tearing up a little, or I can’t see the American flag without thinking of my husband’s right arm.
On 16 May, 2011 my husband’s brigade out of Alaska lost 3 brothers in Afghanistan. Specialist Melton, age 29. Private Tucker, age 26. And Private Pressley, age 21. These three men had been in country for only a couple of weeks.
My heart shattered when I heard the news…when I thought about their families left behind…and when I reflected on how it could have easily been me grieving. War is real, war is happening, and war takes lives. War also means that someone is giving the ultimate sacrifice so that you and I can go about our daily lives without fear. War means that someone is risking and someone is going so that you and I don’t have to…

So on this Memorial Day I not only honor LT Weaver, Specialist Melton, Private Tucker, Private Pressley and the rest of the fallen, but I honor anyone who has seen the ugly face of war. Either by first-hand combat or like me sees it on their spouses’ face.
I once heard this quote, as simplistic as it might be...
“A soldier does not fight because they hate what is in front of them…they fight because they LOVE what is behind them.”
Some of my husband’s words to me from his most recent letter were this, “I hope you know that everything I do, I do it for you and Bennett, our family.”

Thank you to the men and women who are serving or have served and did what you did for me and my family.
It is an honor to serve my husband as he serves this country…a man who stands, while many choose to sit. God Bless.